Confession! I'm a total nerd. As a child I had barely any raw interaction with other girls, and grew up alongside my older boy cousins. Instead of barbies, I was interested in gamboy. Instead of Sailor Moon, I watched Power Rangers. And instead of sleepovers, I would spent the night with them having Video Game Ass-kicking Championships. And even though I admit I was never a good player, all the boy shit stuck to me. Particularly one famous blue hedgehog, who of lately seems to be coming to an end of his techno era. Yessir, in the Sega, Nintendo battlefield, I was always sonic girl. Since the tender age when I learned to pick up my first controller, I was fascinated by this little speedy rat. I watched the cartoons and read the comics, and spent hours playing the video games after finishing up my homework everyday. (I was a straight A student in elementary and most of middle. LOL WAT HAPPENED?)
  So, Why am I bringing this up? Well because I came across one of my favorite books as a child. The Velveteen Rabbit, I'm sure most of you have heard of it. If not then google that shit up. (edit:here's a link to the online book. LIIIIIIIINK because I'm sweet like that.) I'm not about to sit here and type out the entire damn storyshit-Anyway, It was during the incredibly nostalgic time that I spent reading this children's book, that I reached out and snuggled with my Sonic doll. In the book the little boy protects his little old bunny doll from his nanny telling her "it's real!", And it reminded me of the time when I though my toys were real. Especially my sonic doll. OHOHO CAKE. U SO CHEESY.
  yeah. what of it. Ha, but how couldn't I? I've had this toy for almost ten years now. He first entered my room back when every inch was covered by a stuffed doll. When I was not even a preteen girl who would set them all up to her an audience as I played video games all by myself. And when we moved, and I had to give most of them away, and when I grew some and stopped playing with them, and when i grew 'too old' and banished the few I had left to the toy chest and the attic, he stayed sitting calmly on my bed. Because even though I grew out of my other toys, I feel like this one grew up with me. And I never even considered getting rid of him. It's a silly emotional attachment, and the nearest explanation I've given for it is the shitty excuse of "He is my security blanket." But he grew up with me and has grown on me. More like an inanimated companion, than just an item. And even to this day there's a couple of things that I've always been subconsciously aware of between me and this dirty stitched up fluff ball; Whenever my lady emotions creep up, instead of a pillow I'm used to pulling him close and rubbing my snot and tears all over his big soft head. I can't stand to see him posed in a seemingly uncomfortable position. It makes me super uncomfy. If I'm distracted with tv, talking, or playing games, I find myself scratching his ear, or stroking his back, or petting him like a pet. Seriously, I bet he's gotten more tummy lovin' than my dogs. He always sleeps in my bed, every night, no matter what. Sometimes He isn't even anywhere close to me, and sometimes I fall asleep crushing him with my chest. And if he happens to fall off of my bed, I always seem to wake up not long after, and throw him back onto my bed. Call it attachment, but I know that old doll is gonna make it to my first apartment. Through college, and maybe into my first home with my first husband. (: I admit, as lame as it sounds, It's so nice to take to something you love about your problems knowing that it will never tell your secrets like a person, and that it will never die like a pet. And even though I'm growing up, he'll always be sitting on my bed waiting for when I get home and pass out high, sober, or drunk on top of him, with a smile that's forever stitched on his big comfy face. {; 

I'm a stupid silly girl. <3

Labels: dolls, hedgehog, LOL, loser, nerd, sonic