Smells like autumn smells like leaves....

I just want to cry. It's almost fucking midday and I want to fucking cry! I WANT TO FUCKING CRY SO LET ME. But alas... I can't... And all the hurt is being stored away against my own will. And when will it come out? perhaps next time we meet. You left a bitter taste in my mouth and a rumble in my stomach.

pretty birds...pretty mouths...

And despite everything I still just want you to be happy. But I'm going to be happy too. I've cried too much over you and I see now that you aren't even worth it. You never were worth it. You came with a burden and troubles I couldn't fix. And my hair is getting longer as time passes us faster. But we'll meet again in this god forsaken city. And deep down I know my heart will always flutter in your company...and my eyes will light up...and my stomach will turn into knots. I don't know why you stopped calling. And I don't know why you wont answer me... but you've made it perfectly clear you want nothing more to do with me. And you're a spineless coward and nothing close to a man, if you couldn't even say it to my face.

And I'm too much of a lady to leave you my last words 'fuck you'. But I have now too much respect for myself to ever admire a child who could never even get his words out. I'm a lady. A woman. And I don't have time for little boys anymore.

...It could also be that i dropped my sanity somewhere on the interstate that night ... who knows?

Labels: emotions are gay, fuck you, my love life is in the gutter, rant