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Congratulations on getting the most wanted terrorist, US.

It was a wonderful weekend for everyone. And I'm really happy for everyone..! But I'm also a teenage girl, and I have a lot to complain about. 

Friday, I ended up going to that concert with my friend, Kim. But I think we smoked too much on our way there. We got lost driving there, while looking for a parking spot, while looking for an extra ticket, and while actually trying to find the entrance. But we made it and it was fun. Still, after coming down we decided to bail. We smoked a lot more on our way back to our neighborhood. Haha, I swear one second we were still on the highway and the next we're in my old middle school's parking lot. Despite my house being like right in front of us, he drove me to his house. There, I tried to get my feet back on earth before going home. I wasn't very successful with that. But it was starting to get pretty early, and I had no more energy. I really enjoyed his company. He may be a Gemini, but he's also just a really cool person in general. A pretty cool bro. haha, but still It's a good thing I didn't go anywhere near his bed. I was out cold the second I touched mine. Haha. That would have been fun to explain to his parents. 

"Kim, I made you some breakfa-ah! What this girl doing here?!"

"...........Heeeeeey Mrs Xiong... >.<" 

>.<

 Lol. The next day, it was rainy outside, my mother was being weird and I was confined to my house that entire saturday.  This stomped on all of my plans for the night, so I had my best friend come over. We laid in my bed for hours just talking. And it was, a little bit relaxing and a little bit sad. Some songs came up on my ipod that reminded me of someone I really did not want to be reminded of. All the wrong choices I've made... All the people I exchanged for this someone who in the end...wasn't even worth it. All the "sorry"s I owed, all the regret I had, and just everything. I had it all swell up inside of me, as I listened to the beat of the music and her soft breaths beside me.  

  Sunday was my mom's birthday. We all had some cake, gave her her gift, and wished her happy birthday and all that stuff. Didn't really do much. 

  And right now, it's 6:08am. And i don't know. That's really all I can say right now. I just don't fucking know... I mean. damn. I'm not confused though. I think the problem is that I'm thinking too clearly. But I don't know what to do. I'm not sure what I could do really. What I want to do?  I guess to confront him, but I'm too intimidated by him and his words. I wouldn't even know how to confront him. He was special to me. But I was absolutely nothing to him. If I ever was anything more than a girl to fuck to him, I'll never know. Because he never says a damn thing to me about anything. ever. So I'd be going in completely blind. 

He could say something like...he was just having fun. Which is honestly probably the case. Never wanted anything serious, but still held my hand and dragged me deeper every time we met. He could say he loves me. Which honestly, will never be the case. I don't know why I thought that could happen in the first place. Stupid stupid. Maybe at one point in time, we did have some potential being together. But we missed our cue. Now it's too late. But that's the story of my life. Always fucking late.