So, I've been thinking about you all day. And you're driving me crazy. 


Song is relevant.  But today I went to look at prom dresses. Whatever whatever. Not as excited about prom as I am about getting my tattoo. I even took picturezz of the posing I wanna do just to show it off. {;


Riiight there on my shoulderblade back area...Just realized you can see "CAKE" up by the door in the first picture. that's pretty rad.
Today Aleja didn't go to school. When she called me later today she informed me her 2010 nissan sentra was totalled. She ran it into a Tahoe and completely ruined the front part of it. She got it brand new. last year. I laughed hard because that's what best friends do.  I have the last pictures taken in that car from a couple of weeks ago. Senior skip day, yaknow?
 Aleja what is that in your hand?!?! O;
 

-Cake

Labels: blah, car wreck, emotions are gay, prom, tattoo

I don't know what to do. Should I let you go, or should I come to you? So many things are so obvious. everything points to her. Its always been her. you love her. And that leaves me in the same spot I've always been. Maybe if I was good at crying like her, maybe if I was good at having those girly feelings like her, maybe if I could say the things she says, you would love me for once instead. But... you know I can't do that. And even though I might love you more than anyone else could, my words and my actions will never come out right.

Labels: emotions are gay, fuck

Smells like autumn smells like leaves....

I just want to cry. It's almost fucking midday and I want to fucking cry! I WANT TO FUCKING CRY SO LET ME. But alas... I can't... And all the hurt is being stored away against my own will. And when will it come out? perhaps next time we meet. You left a bitter taste in my mouth and a rumble in my stomach.

pretty birds...pretty mouths...

And despite everything I still just want you to be happy. But I'm going to be happy too. I've cried too much over you and I see now that you aren't even worth it. You never were worth it. You came with a burden and troubles I couldn't fix. And my hair is getting longer as time passes us faster. But we'll meet again in this god forsaken city. And deep down I know my heart will always flutter in your company...and my eyes will light up...and my stomach will turn into knots. I don't know why you stopped calling. And I don't know why you wont answer me... but you've made it perfectly clear you want nothing more to do with me. And you're a spineless coward and nothing close to a man, if you couldn't even say it to my face.

And I'm too much of a lady to leave you my last words 'fuck you'. But I have now too much respect for myself to ever admire a child who could never even get his words out. I'm a lady. A woman. And I don't have time for little boys anymore.

...It could also be that i dropped my sanity somewhere on the interstate that night ... who knows?

Labels: emotions are gay, fuck you, my love life is in the gutter, rant

emotions emotions emotions.
feelings feelings feelings.
heartbreak heartbreak heartbreak.

Labels: emotions are gay